Our baby girl is nine months old.
She has now lived in this world the amount of time the Lord formed her inside me.
These last nine months have quickly made me aware of my inadequacies of being a parent and training a child in righteousness. I lack the knowledge and wisdom.
How am I to train a child as stubborn as her mother? Or simply teach her independence when I am not an independent person? How can I help her learn to tame her tongue when I can't tame it myself? How will she learn to display patience when I have no patience? I guess in some ways I believed she would be a "mini-me", in other ways I hoped she wouldn't.
So how does a mother do this knowing her own sinfulness? God's Word. Grace. Faith. Though the last nine months have quickly shown my inadequacies, they've also proven my desperate need of God's Word and His grace. I fail many times over, but His grace and His Word preserves me, sustains me and guides me. And most of all it humbles me, knowing I am given infinitely more than I deserve. I still have no idea what I'm doing as a mother, but I constantly need to be reminded God's Word never returns void. Thankfully it gives us all we need for life and godliness.
Being a mother to Vera was not exactly what I expected. Instead, my expectations were far exceeded. It is the greatest responsibility God has ever given me, yet it comes with the greatest reward.
Today, through the pain of an old friend losing her precious 4 month old son, I am reminded of the fragility of Vera's little life and the lives of those I love dearly. I am overwhelmingly thankful for the nine months the Lord entrusted Vera to our care and even more grateful she is ultimately under the Lord's hand of protection. I pray I don't take one moment of her life for granted.